I can't believe it's been almost a month and a half since my last posting. This is exactly why the journal writing or food journals never work out for me. It's not that I lack thoughts, that's for sure. Actually, I probably have too many thoughts floating around in my head and that causes me to move from one thing to another too quickly to stop and take a breath!
Speaking of breath...I went to this "Transformational Breathing" workshop a few weekends ago. Basically, you spend an hour lying on a mat and breathing in/out through the mouth. It's supposed to help you dig deeper into your true self as well as cleanse and rejuvenate your body/mind. So much so, that the facilitator was kind enough to offer you a bag in case of vomiting... scary! As weird as it sounded, I went for it and gave my all. My whole body went numb, literally. My body froze up and I was unable to move it for quite a while. I couldn't even open my eyes right away. It was something different that I probably wouldn't do again, but amazingly, the facilitator was able to tell me from the way I breathe (short inhale/very powerful exhales) that I have control issues and I'm an overachiever. Very true at times, I guess. I'll work on that, but I don't think I'll be engaging in transformational breathing anytime soon.
Anyway, I started this blog because I was supposed to take part in this 40 Day workshop at my yoga center. It was 6 weeks of yoga, meditation and from what I've heard from past participants, it's life changing. Also, the teacher who was running the program was really the first true teacher to bring me into the world of yoga and if the workshop meant I got more of her, I was eager and ready to go. Unfortunately, due to unfortunate circumstances, the program at my favorite yoga center was cancelled and although I could have still participated at a new place, I couldn't leave the commitment and love I have for "my" center. So, I decided that this 40 Day was not for me.
I did, however, decide to partake in my own little 40 Day on my own. I was getting up and attending yoga classes several days a week, was watching my diet and was living the yoga life. But, boy is it hard! I was consistent the first few weeks, but then life got in the way a my commitment waivered. I went from 5 days a week to 4 to 3 to not having been to yoga at all the month of May...yikes! And for me, when the yoga stops the eating starts! Diet/exercise has always been hand in hand for me so I've been struggling some this week to get it "back"! So I emailed my Deborah (yoga center director and new dear friend) about my woes and she replied back: "So, you fell 'off the horse' - it's the 'coming back' that is the practice, so no need to get bummed out about straying from your intention, just remember each time you come back, you strengthen it!" How true!
Before, I would get so down on myself for screwing up another diet and another exercise program and I would just throw in the towel. Next thing I knew, it would be 6-8 months later and I'm starting all over again. But, now I look at it differently. So, I haven't been on the right path this week. It's one week! One week in the rest of my life (which I'm hoping is very long). I'll pick up the towel, dust myself off and continue on!
That being said, I realize that no "40 Day" anything is what I need. What do you do after it's over? I know now that a 24/7/365 is the true way to live. Always live in the present 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year! And if you throw in the towel, just make sure you know where it lands for when you're ready to pick it up again!
Oh, and the unfortunate circumstance at the yoga center has actually been the best thing that could have happened to me. Not only did it help me to discover some pretty fantastic yoga teachers that I would not have known about otherwise, it has also led me to the path of becoming a yoga teacher myself. Yet another reason I know that "things" work out for a reason. Sometimes the reason doesn't show up right away, but it does show up!
Teacher training starts in June and I am very excited and eager to learn the tools to show others the path of yoga and how wonderful and life changing it is...namaste!